Too Many Cars

A: Look at this traffic.

B: I’d rather not.

A: It gets worse every year.

B: Why are you complaining? We’re going almost 20 miles an hour.

A: The speed limit is 65!

B: Well, that’s between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.

A: Where are all these people going?

B: They’re all asking the same question.

A: When are they going to fix this problem?

B: They said they need more money.

A: They always need more money.

B: It’ll get worse before it gets better.

Housecleaning Day

A: I have to clean the house.

B: Yes, it’s very dirty.

A: You can help me.

B: Why me?

A: Because you helped make it dirty.

B: What do you want me to do?

A: I want you to clean the bathroom.

B: Oh, that’s easy.

A: Clean the sink, the tub, the counter, and the toilet.

B: That’s a lot of work.

A: Tell me when you finish.

B: I don’t think so. You’ll just give me more work.

Did You Say Something?

A: I have to go to the bathroom.

B: You drink too much coffee.

A: But I love coffee.

B: Well, it’s your life.

A: You eat too much chocolate.

B: I don’t think so.

A: Have you looked in the mirror?

B: Do you think I’m getting fat?

A: I didn’t say that.

B: What did you say?

A: I said I have to go to the bathroom.

B: That’s what I thought you said.

A Lost Pen

A: I lost my new pen.

B: Where did you lose it?

A: I don’t know.

B: When did you lose it?

A: I think I lost it today. I used it yesterday.

B: Did you check all your pockets?

A: I checked all my pockets.

B: Did you look in your desk?

A: Yes. It isn’t there, either.

B: It’s probably around somewhere.

A: Oh, well, it only cost me a dollar.

B: Only a dollar? Don’t even look for it.

Days of the Week

Fresh Fish

Mike was ready for bed. It was 11 o’clock. He had to get up early the next day. The next day he was going fishing. Fish wake up early. They look for food early in the day. They look for food late in the day. The best time to fish is early or late in the day. That is when the fish are hungry. Mike set his alarm. He set his alarm for 5 o’clock. The next day he would start fishing at 6 o’clock. He wanted to catch four or five fish. If he caught four or five fish, he could eat fresh fish all week. Fresh fish is the best fish. Mike went to bed.

Borrowing Money

A: Can I borrow $5?

B: Sure. Why do you need it?

A: I want to buy lunch.

B: Where’s your money?

A: It’s not in my wallet.

B: Your wallet is empty?

A: I don’t have even one dollar in it.

B: Being broke is no fun.

A: Even if it’s only for a short while.

B: It’s always good to have friends.

A: Friends will lend you money when you’re broke.

B: As long as you pay them back.