Too Many Cars

A: Look at this traffic.

B: I’d rather not.

A: It gets worse every year.

B: Why are you complaining? We’re going almost 20 miles an hour.

A: The speed limit is 65!

B: Well, that’s between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.

A: Where are all these people going?

B: They’re all asking the same question.

A: When are they going to fix this problem?

B: They said they need more money.

A: They always need more money.

B: It’ll get worse before it gets better.

Housecleaning Day

A: I have to clean the house.

B: Yes, it’s very dirty.

A: You can help me.

B: Why me?

A: Because you helped make it dirty.

B: What do you want me to do?

A: I want you to clean the bathroom.

B: Oh, that’s easy.

A: Clean the sink, the tub, the counter, and the toilet.

B: That’s a lot of work.

A: Tell me when you finish.

B: I don’t think so. You’ll just give me more work.

Did You Say Something?

A: I have to go to the bathroom.

B: You drink too much coffee.

A: But I love coffee.

B: Well, it’s your life.

A: You eat too much chocolate.

B: I don’t think so.

A: Have you looked in the mirror?

B: Do you think I’m getting fat?

A: I didn’t say that.

B: What did you say?

A: I said I have to go to the bathroom.

B: That’s what I thought you said.